Here is a link to Amnesty International:
http://destind2eternity-amnestyinternational.blogspot.com/,
and from there is a link to the actual website!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Anyone, Anywhere
Taken from www.jbws.org/personal_stories.html, this is a story from a woman who survived her husband's abuse. I like this story because it shows that abuse comes in all forms, not just physical.
Carol
"Not to an Educated, Affluent Woman Like Me..."
Carol never had a black eye or bruises. Yet, after 20 years of marriage, she knew that she had been emotionally damaged.
"With no provocation, my husband would subject me to a barrage of verbal criticisms and put downs while destroying almost anything at hand," remembers Carol. "The outbursts never lasted for long, but the effects did."
Domestic abuse or intimate partner abuse takes a toll on the mind, body and spirit. Reported by nearly 1 in 3 women, it includes emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual, and physical abuse. At the root of each form of abuse, is the abuser's intent to gain control over the partner.
Like many victims of abuse, Carol felt ashamed and blamed herself for the things that went wrong in the marriage, and believed that if she tried harder, it would get better. As close friends became aware of the escalating situation, they advised her to get out, but she still hesitated to take action.
"I had trouble accepting that this was happening to me, an educated, affluent woman living in a nice home and in a nice community. Also, I didn't want to believe that the person with whom I had fallen in love, married and raised a family could be such a threatening and unpredictable person," explains Carol.
It wasn't until one night, when Carol slept on the other side of a locked door, fearing for her safety, that she knew she had to take action. Certain she had no other alternative; she called the police for help. The officers informed of her of her legal rights, removed her partner from the home, and referred her to JBWS, the local domestic abuse program in Morris County.
"I wasn't sure if JBWS could help me," explains Carol. "After all, I wasn't physically battered and I didn't need to come to a shelter."
Carol's counselor assured her that she had called the right place and that although her wounds were not visible, she was a victim of abuse. Carol was offered a court advocate to help her through the legal process and was urged to join one of the many support groups offered by JBWS for women who do not need protective shelter, but do need supportive counseling and advocacy services.
"I was surprised to discover that the women in my group were from surrounding affluent communities and not unlike me," says Carol. "One after another, they presented different yet similar accounts of the same stories of power, control and rage. The group was so empowering. It helped me to regain my confidence and self-esteem."
Carol
"Not to an Educated, Affluent Woman Like Me..."
Carol never had a black eye or bruises. Yet, after 20 years of marriage, she knew that she had been emotionally damaged.
"With no provocation, my husband would subject me to a barrage of verbal criticisms and put downs while destroying almost anything at hand," remembers Carol. "The outbursts never lasted for long, but the effects did."
Domestic abuse or intimate partner abuse takes a toll on the mind, body and spirit. Reported by nearly 1 in 3 women, it includes emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual, and physical abuse. At the root of each form of abuse, is the abuser's intent to gain control over the partner.
Like many victims of abuse, Carol felt ashamed and blamed herself for the things that went wrong in the marriage, and believed that if she tried harder, it would get better. As close friends became aware of the escalating situation, they advised her to get out, but she still hesitated to take action.
"I had trouble accepting that this was happening to me, an educated, affluent woman living in a nice home and in a nice community. Also, I didn't want to believe that the person with whom I had fallen in love, married and raised a family could be such a threatening and unpredictable person," explains Carol.
It wasn't until one night, when Carol slept on the other side of a locked door, fearing for her safety, that she knew she had to take action. Certain she had no other alternative; she called the police for help. The officers informed of her of her legal rights, removed her partner from the home, and referred her to JBWS, the local domestic abuse program in Morris County.
"I wasn't sure if JBWS could help me," explains Carol. "After all, I wasn't physically battered and I didn't need to come to a shelter."
Carol's counselor assured her that she had called the right place and that although her wounds were not visible, she was a victim of abuse. Carol was offered a court advocate to help her through the legal process and was urged to join one of the many support groups offered by JBWS for women who do not need protective shelter, but do need supportive counseling and advocacy services.
"I was surprised to discover that the women in my group were from surrounding affluent communities and not unlike me," says Carol. "One after another, they presented different yet similar accounts of the same stories of power, control and rage. The group was so empowering. It helped me to regain my confidence and self-esteem."
How Can You Tell? (A test to determine Abuse)
* This test can be found on the www.scmcbws.org site*
Are you in an abusive situation? This questionnaire is designed to help you decide if you're living in an abusive situation. There are different forms of abuse, and not every woman experiences all of them. Below are questions about your relationship with your partner. Each answer or response has points assigned.
Never 0 points
Rarely 1 point
Sometimes 2 points
Frequently 3 points
Answer each question with the response that best describes your relationship and write the number of points in the margin. By totaling all of the points you can compare your score with the Abuser Index at the end of the document.
____ 1. Does your partner continually monitor your time and make you account for every minute?
____ 2. Does your partner ever accuse you of having affairs with others or act suspicious that you are?
____ 3. Is your partner ever rude to your friends?
____ 4. Do you ever feel discouraged from starting same-sex friendships?
____ 5. Do you feel isolated and alone, as if there were nobody close for you to confide in?
____ 6. Is your partner overly critical of daily things, such as, your cooking, your clothes, or your appearance?
____ 7. Does your partner demand a strict account of how you spend money?
____ 8. Do your partner's moods change radically, from very calm to very angry and vice versa?
____ 9. Is your partner disturbed by you working, or the thought of you working?
____ 10. Does your partner become angry more easily if he/she drinks?
____ 11. Does your partner pressure you for sex more often than you'd like?
____ 12. Does your partner become angry if you don't want to go along with his/her request for sex?
____ 13. Do you quarrel much over financial matters?
____ 14. Do you quarrel much about having children or raising them?
____ 15. Does your partner ever strike you with his/her hands or feet (slap, punch, kick, etc.)?____ 16. Does your partner ever strike you with an object?
____ 17. Does your partner ever threaten you with an object or weapon?
____ 18. Has your partner ever threatened to kill either him/herself or you?
____ 19. Does your partner ever give you visible injuries (welts, bruises, cuts)?
____ 20. Have you ever had to treat any injuries from your partner's violence with first aid?____ 21. Have you ever had to seek professional aid for any injury at a clinic, emergency room, or doctor's office?
____ 22. Does your partner ever hurt you sexually or make you have intercourse against your will?
____ 23. Is your partner ever violent towards the children?
____ 24. Is your partner ever violent toward other people outside your home and family?
____ 25. Does your partner ever throw objects or break things when he/she is angry?
____ 26. Has your partner ever been in trouble with the police?
____ 27. Have you ever called the police or tried to call them because you felt you or other members of your family were in danger?
To score your response simply add up the points for each question. The sum is your Abuse Index Score. To get some idea of how your relationship is, compare your score with the following chart:
81-64 Dangerously Abusive
63-26 Seriously Abusive
25-11 Moderately Abusive
10-0 Non-abusive
A woman with a score of 0-10 is NOT NECESSARILY in an abusive relationship. The sorts of strains she experiences are not unusual in relationships.
A woman with a score of 11-25 range, however, does live in a home where she experiences some violence at least once in a while. It may be that this is a relationship where violence is just beginning. In a new relationship there is good reason to expect it will eventually escalate into more serious forms and may occur more frequently.
Women with scores in the 26-63 range are in a seriously abusive relationship that can, under outside pressure, or with the sudden strain of a family emergency, move into the dangerously severe range. Serious injury is quite probable if it has not already occurred. A woman here needs to consider finding counseling. She should seriously consider getting help, even leaving.
Women with scores in the top range 64-81 need to consider even more seriously the option of leaving at least temporarily while she considers her next move. The violence will not take care of itself or miraculously disappear. Over time the chances are very good that the woman's life will be in danger.
Are you in an abusive situation? This questionnaire is designed to help you decide if you're living in an abusive situation. There are different forms of abuse, and not every woman experiences all of them. Below are questions about your relationship with your partner. Each answer or response has points assigned.
Never 0 points
Rarely 1 point
Sometimes 2 points
Frequently 3 points
Answer each question with the response that best describes your relationship and write the number of points in the margin. By totaling all of the points you can compare your score with the Abuser Index at the end of the document.
____ 1. Does your partner continually monitor your time and make you account for every minute?
____ 2. Does your partner ever accuse you of having affairs with others or act suspicious that you are?
____ 3. Is your partner ever rude to your friends?
____ 4. Do you ever feel discouraged from starting same-sex friendships?
____ 5. Do you feel isolated and alone, as if there were nobody close for you to confide in?
____ 6. Is your partner overly critical of daily things, such as, your cooking, your clothes, or your appearance?
____ 7. Does your partner demand a strict account of how you spend money?
____ 8. Do your partner's moods change radically, from very calm to very angry and vice versa?
____ 9. Is your partner disturbed by you working, or the thought of you working?
____ 10. Does your partner become angry more easily if he/she drinks?
____ 11. Does your partner pressure you for sex more often than you'd like?
____ 12. Does your partner become angry if you don't want to go along with his/her request for sex?
____ 13. Do you quarrel much over financial matters?
____ 14. Do you quarrel much about having children or raising them?
____ 15. Does your partner ever strike you with his/her hands or feet (slap, punch, kick, etc.)?____ 16. Does your partner ever strike you with an object?
____ 17. Does your partner ever threaten you with an object or weapon?
____ 18. Has your partner ever threatened to kill either him/herself or you?
____ 19. Does your partner ever give you visible injuries (welts, bruises, cuts)?
____ 20. Have you ever had to treat any injuries from your partner's violence with first aid?____ 21. Have you ever had to seek professional aid for any injury at a clinic, emergency room, or doctor's office?
____ 22. Does your partner ever hurt you sexually or make you have intercourse against your will?
____ 23. Is your partner ever violent towards the children?
____ 24. Is your partner ever violent toward other people outside your home and family?
____ 25. Does your partner ever throw objects or break things when he/she is angry?
____ 26. Has your partner ever been in trouble with the police?
____ 27. Have you ever called the police or tried to call them because you felt you or other members of your family were in danger?
To score your response simply add up the points for each question. The sum is your Abuse Index Score. To get some idea of how your relationship is, compare your score with the following chart:
81-64 Dangerously Abusive
63-26 Seriously Abusive
25-11 Moderately Abusive
10-0 Non-abusive
A woman with a score of 0-10 is NOT NECESSARILY in an abusive relationship. The sorts of strains she experiences are not unusual in relationships.
A woman with a score of 11-25 range, however, does live in a home where she experiences some violence at least once in a while. It may be that this is a relationship where violence is just beginning. In a new relationship there is good reason to expect it will eventually escalate into more serious forms and may occur more frequently.
Women with scores in the 26-63 range are in a seriously abusive relationship that can, under outside pressure, or with the sudden strain of a family emergency, move into the dangerously severe range. Serious injury is quite probable if it has not already occurred. A woman here needs to consider finding counseling. She should seriously consider getting help, even leaving.
Women with scores in the top range 64-81 need to consider even more seriously the option of leaving at least temporarily while she considers her next move. The violence will not take care of itself or miraculously disappear. Over time the chances are very good that the woman's life will be in danger.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
All About It
Mission statement of the Battered Women's Shelter of Summit and Medina counties is as follows:
to lead the community in the prevention of domestic abuse by providing emergency shelter, advocacy and education throughout Summit and Medina County. All in an effort to break the cycle of abuse and help promote peace in every family. (www.scmcbws.org)
There are many workers who work at these shelters, and also many volunteers, men and women. The volunteers do many things such as help educate women at health fairs, provide child care, do fundraising, help with newsletters, etc. They can even answer the phone on the crisis line and help with the upkeep of the buildings.
They have many services to offer women and children. These services vary from information on their website, support groups, crisis centers, court help, and much more. They have a protection orders that can be put into place, and can help with technical things like finances, transportation, family routines, etc.
They also offer two free classes to victims. One of them is called Early Intervention Program, which focuses on the dynamics of an abusive relationship. The other class is called Stop the Cycle and is focused on the children and how all the violence has affected them and how to help them.
They get the word around a lot of different ways. They use the health fairs, churches, businesses, schools, clubs, and other groups as facilities to send speakers out to help educate. Education is the key. The more people know, the more willing they will be to help stop the violence. And the victims will know they are not alone.
to lead the community in the prevention of domestic abuse by providing emergency shelter, advocacy and education throughout Summit and Medina County. All in an effort to break the cycle of abuse and help promote peace in every family. (www.scmcbws.org)
There are many workers who work at these shelters, and also many volunteers, men and women. The volunteers do many things such as help educate women at health fairs, provide child care, do fundraising, help with newsletters, etc. They can even answer the phone on the crisis line and help with the upkeep of the buildings.
They have many services to offer women and children. These services vary from information on their website, support groups, crisis centers, court help, and much more. They have a protection orders that can be put into place, and can help with technical things like finances, transportation, family routines, etc.
They also offer two free classes to victims. One of them is called Early Intervention Program, which focuses on the dynamics of an abusive relationship. The other class is called Stop the Cycle and is focused on the children and how all the violence has affected them and how to help them.
They get the word around a lot of different ways. They use the health fairs, churches, businesses, schools, clubs, and other groups as facilities to send speakers out to help educate. Education is the key. The more people know, the more willing they will be to help stop the violence. And the victims will know they are not alone.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My organization
I will definately write more about my organization, but first I just want to tell why I chose it. I cannot stand violence. I do not understand why in the world someone thinks that they are better and has the right to lay hands on another human being. I am a very big advocate on treating everyone with respect. We are all people living on this Earth, we NEED each other, we strive off of each other. And when people abuse or take away the right of feeling whole, a bit is taken out of this world. Every person should have a chance to do what they want (within reason of course), and go to their home, work, school, wherever, without being afraid. Children should not have to watch their mother get beat up, and maybe be a victim themselves. There is too much fear and rage in this world, we need to do something about it! More on this coming up!
A Little About Me
So I am Samantha. This is my third year in college. I went to the University of Akron for my first year, then Tri-C for the next year and a half. And now, I'm back here. My major is Speech Pathology. My special gift is working with the handicapped and small children, so i had to choose a major that incorporated both. My other option was to be a Special-Ed teacher, but being a teacher is not for me. I currently work two jobs, and go to school fulltime, so my life is very very hectic. I have moved around like crazy in my life, maybe that is why i crave and need chaos always. My family and best friends mean the world to me. I have three little sisters who I just adore. I love the outdoors and I hate the cold; I want to move to Arizona! My favorite passtime is walking in the woods and having long deep conversations, which then maybe Arizona isnt the best place for me since I dont think there is much woodland (correct me if i am wrong! :)) But I have plenty of time to decide that. I am a very quiet person, most of the time. I do not talk unless I have something to say, and it takes me a little while to get out of my comfort zone. Well, I think that is all I can think of saying right now!
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