Anyone, Anywhere

Taken from www.jbws.org/personal_stories.html, this is a story from a woman who survived her husband's abuse. I like this story because it shows that abuse comes in all forms, not just physical.

Carol
"Not to an Educated, Affluent Woman Like Me..."
Carol never had a black eye or bruises. Yet, after 20 years of marriage, she knew that she had been emotionally damaged.
"With no provocation, my husband would subject me to a barrage of verbal criticisms and put downs while destroying almost anything at hand," remembers Carol. "The outbursts never lasted for long, but the effects did."
Domestic abuse or intimate partner abuse takes a toll on the mind, body and spirit. Reported by nearly 1 in 3 women, it includes emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual, and physical abuse. At the root of each form of abuse, is the abuser's intent to gain control over the partner.
Like many victims of abuse, Carol felt ashamed and blamed herself for the things that went wrong in the marriage, and believed that if she tried harder, it would get better. As close friends became aware of the escalating situation, they advised her to get out, but she still hesitated to take action.
"I had trouble accepting that this was happening to me, an educated, affluent woman living in a nice home and in a nice community. Also, I didn't want to believe that the person with whom I had fallen in love, married and raised a family could be such a threatening and unpredictable person," explains Carol.
It wasn't until one night, when Carol slept on the other side of a locked door, fearing for her safety, that she knew she had to take action. Certain she had no other alternative; she called the police for help. The officers informed of her of her legal rights, removed her partner from the home, and referred her to JBWS, the local domestic abuse program in Morris County.
"I wasn't sure if JBWS could help me," explains Carol. "After all, I wasn't physically battered and I didn't need to come to a shelter."
Carol's counselor assured her that she had called the right place and that although her wounds were not visible, she was a victim of abuse. Carol was offered a court advocate to help her through the legal process and was urged to join one of the many support groups offered by JBWS for women who do not need protective shelter, but do need supportive counseling and advocacy services.
"I was surprised to discover that the women in my group were from surrounding affluent communities and not unlike me," says Carol. "One after another, they presented different yet similar accounts of the same stories of power, control and rage. The group was so empowering. It helped me to regain my confidence and self-esteem."